Beetle Saved From the Jaws of Life

VW Beetle
by: DansAm

Hello all. I feel like sharing a VW story. I got at least 5 for every car I've ever owned and well, I've had a lot of VW's!!!

Ok, get the kids and burn the popcorn.

I used to have a '64 sunroof from like 1987 to 1997 and it had this very uncool metal sunroof (not like say a '63 and older COOL sunroof)

Anyway the strange mechanism that made it open and close was a kinda cable with another smaller cable wrapped around and around and around the bigger "base" cable and that was used like a chain to open and close the thing with a nice cute plastic crank. Now needless to say this sucker (cable) broke and the sunroof was now a pull and push open type of deal and was only held open or closed by friction.

I, being very proud of the car (no heap this car, it was sanyo man!) I wanted the thing to work as intended by the VW engineers.

So I went to Cherry Hill VW and said how much for the cable thingie. It was like 200.00 bux!!!!! It would take FOREVER to get that kinda bread in high school what with pizza to buy and chicks to take out and action figures to buy, not to mention GAS!!! Heck gas was like 85 cents a gallon or sumthin!!! So needless to say new was out. Junk yards were out as well as I could not find one. I was defeated temporarily.

Well, one day I was buggin home from school when I saw a very sad bug at the local fire house. Being MR. volks I needed to check out this new bug in my territory. It was very sad. It was like a '71 standard with no and I mean NO glass, it was all busted onto the interior floor, it only had the drivers seat and the ignition with like 3 wires hanging out of the column. No lights front or back and it had shotgun holes all over. It was an orange car. Two things that stood out to me. 1) it had a metal sunroof that worked!!! and 2) the engine looked like brand new!!!!

Well I went into the firehouse and introduced myself to the chief (I'm outgoing like that) asked him what's up with the squashed bug outside?? He told me it was originally going to be used for jaws of life training but it never happened and they were going to junk it!!!!!!!

Well I explained to the chief it was his lucky day. For no charge whatsoever I'd be happy to remove the eyesore from his presence. He agreed. !!!! :)

So I now looked over the bug a little closer and decided to try to start it. I fiddled with the wires and DANG if it didn't start right up. It ran NICE, and I thought, Hmmmmmmmm This is gunna cost at least 20.00 to tow home. Wonder if it moves. Yup it did!!! Now an older wiser me woulda towed it (no windshield and shotgun holes and all, umm no tail lights etc etc etc. But in my Yute I had more of a sometimes you gotta say what the f---- (yes from risky bidness the movie).

So I jumped in and made a dash for home leaving my '64 at the firehouse for me to pick up later. Gee 45 mph is something else without a windshield!!! Talk about bugs!! YUCK in my teeth!! Anyway it seemed to ride ok for a mile or so then it seemed to develop a tick every min or so like the car was in a dance line and kicking out a tire every 3rd beat or so. I figured no biggie cv going I'll just limp it home, and so it went for a while vroom vroom kick, vroom vroom kick.

Anyway soon the kick started getting a little more often like vroom kick, vroom kick. Soon it was a kick kick kick kick and got faster and faster (I'm thinking worst case scenario I'd abandon it on the side of the road) All of a sudden it went thump kick thump kick, thump thump thump then (((((((Silence)))))))) then the left rear of the vehicle tipped back as if the right front was being picked up into the air by some strange force, a tire started to shoot across the road and into a ladies garden (oops) then lots of noise sparks other nasties I'll spare you. Needless to say I moseyed on over to the side of the road. Turns out the wheel was only held on by one lug not or so, and the hub cap (which was still on the wheel in the garden!!!) hid the fact.

Well in a perfect world I would have kicked my keds toward home and would have had mom take me to pick up my '64, BUT, one car back there was a ((((((((((((( COP))))))))))))) a NJ state cop as a matter of fact (((OOOF))) Lotsa things went through my head (no insurance, registration, windows, lights, Uh Oh this is gunna SUCK). Cop gets out looks at the heap. Shakes his head and whips out the ticket book and makes two circles around the car to take it all in, "how are you today sir" or any of that crud.

He finally looks at me and in his best jowsey accent states: "You must be the biggest Asshole I've ever met" As the accused I looked up at him and stated, YES SIR I can see why you may think that. I explained the situation and without another word he told me to get in the back of the car. Needless to say this was the first time in a cruiser (look no door handles!!!) and (sheesh what is that smell).

Mr. cop got into the car started her up and off we went without a single word as to our destination. I was VERY screwed, mom and dad were gunna KILL me or worse yet leave me in jail to teach me a lesson. I saw all sorts of anal probing in my future when we ended up at the firehouse he got out, I could not !!! No HANDLES!! and mr. cop talked to the chief to make sure I didn't steal the car. After theft was ruled out the cop let me out for a little one on one.

It went like this...... You have 20 minutes to get that pile of sh-t off of my highway. And If I ever catch you doing ANYTHING again you are soooo screwed. Now Get to the phone young man.

I got the car towed home. Stripped the car and sold the motor for 150.00. My '64 had a sunroof that worked for 5 years more (didn't fix it the next time) and alls well that ends well. Never met mr. cop again. Well I may have met a friend of his when I tried to out run a cop car in my single port '64 but that's another story.

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